


dancing with you

by huehuehyuka



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Cuddling, Death, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hospitalization, Kissing, M/M, Prom, Terminal Illnesses, but it's unspecified bc i didnt feel like doing research sorry, i think, thats it probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-21 03:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30015672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huehuehyuka/pseuds/huehuehyuka
Summary: Beomgyu had been sick his entire life, making it difficult for him to live a "normal" life. Despite it all, his boyfriend, Kai, was willing to work with whatever time they could manage. That is all Beomgyu could ever ask for.“I’ll stay with you until the end… I only wish that you could stay with me, too.”
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu & Choi Yeonjun, Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	dancing with you

**Author's Note:**

> ok ok ok
> 
> 1\. read those tags if u didn't >:( did u read them? good!  
> 2\. i know prom isnt a thing in korean schools but let me have this hh  
> 3\. have fun :D
> 
> wait bonus: it has a playlist   
> [click here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6C7D5BwsyGNIl0z7oLrxUb)

Beomgyu was sick his entire life. Well, there were periods when he was able to be out and about like a normal kid, but eventually he always found himself either in a hospital room or stuck in his bedroom. As a child, he cried a lot from the pain and loneliness. Socializing and maintaining friendships was difficult for him. He really only had one good friend for most of his life. Beomgyu had to start high school one year late because of his illness, separating him from the peers that he had spend most of his school time with.

It wasn’t entirely terrible, however. Not only did Beomgyu finally find a friend group, but he met the brightest boy ever in his second year. Huening Kai, his sunshine, his boyfriend, the reason why Beomgyu finds a reason to smile. Whenever Beomgyu had to miss classes, Kai would drop by with the schoolwork. He would even stay to explain the lessons sometimes. When Beomgyu was back in the hospital, Kai would visit whenever he could with snacks and drinks. Kai was there so often, Beomgyu’s nurse recognized the cheerful boy as Beomgyu's boyfriend. Whenever Beomgyu was seriously ill again, Kai was there to comfort him and keep him company. He was grateful that Kai never let Beomgyu’s condition drive a wedge between them, even if it meant they had to limit their activities together.

So though it was a reality Beomgyu had learned to get used to, there couldn’t possibly be a worst time to be stuck in the hospital.

During the beginning of their second half of senior year, when Beomgyu was healthy enough to attend school, Kai surprised Beomgyu with a cute and very ‘Kai’ prom-posal. Kai met him after school by the gym with a teddy bear and rose. 

_“Will you go to prom with me, Beomgyu-hyung?”_

_“Of course I will, dummy!”_

The two went suit shopping when it was getting a little closer to prom. Beomgyu found a black suit jacket with a long, flowing back that looked almost like a dress. He was immediately sold on it. Kai settled for a more traditional look, not wanting to outshine his beautiful boyfriend on prom night. He just loved how excited Beomgyu looked about his outfit. 

Of course, they discussed the possibility of Beomgyu not being well enough to stay long, or to not be able to attend at all. But at that time, Beomgyu’s health was actually at the highest it has been in a while. Things were looking great for the young couple. But of course, something had to go terribly wrong. 

The day before prom, Beomgyu was found with an IV stuck in his arm, a teddy bear tucked beside him, and in a hospital gown and pajama pants. He was only back in the hospital for less than a week. A few days prior, he had just a fever and a stomach virus, but it quickly escalated. Funny how things work out, or more accurately, how things refuse to work out. Beomgyu sighed and stared blankly at the TV across his bed. It wasn’t turned on. He didn’t have the will to turn something on, resorting to staring off into space and thinking about what could have been. 

“Do you need help reaching the remote?” his nurse asked suddenly, startling the boy. “Oops, sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Beomgyu sighed, relaxing in his bed again. “And I’m fine. I don’t want to watch anything.”

The nurse put down Beomgyu’s medications on the table beside his bed next to the remote. The man also set down a workbook and pencil case. “Your boyfriend stopped by to give you your schoolwork.”

Beomgyu looked over at his nurse. “Was he too busy to come in?” 

“It seemed like it,” the man said. “He told me to tell you to expect him the day after tomorrow, though.”

The boy put on a sad smile. “Alright…” 

“What’s going on in your head, Beomgyu?” 

“It’s just,” Beomgyu suppressed the urge to cry. “Tomorrow is prom and we were supposed to go together. We already bought our outfits and everything. We were supposed to have a great night!” He clenched his fists and bit back a sob, resulting in a shaky breath. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” his nurse frowned, opening a new cold bottle of water for Beomgyu. “Maybe when you’re all better, you and your boyfriend can go on some big special date.”

“I hope so,” Beomgyu wipes a tear with his hand, drying it on his blanket. He silently took his pills, placing one on his tongue, drowning it in water, and repeating. 

“I’ll bring you dinner at six. You know what to do when you need me,” his nurse said before leaving. Beomgyu only nodded and gave him a thumbs up as he left the room, leaving the boy alone with himself again. 

Before his brain had the time to make himself any sadder, Beomgyu reached over to do some homework. Kai had brought his math book; it shouldn’t be too difficult to do. He flipped the workbook open to a page that had a paper sticking out of it. He couldn't help but smile when he read it.

‘My love, Beomie,

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to visit today, but I did bring you your homework! (hehe obviously) It sucks we aren’t able to go tomorrow, but your health is the priority. Please rest well and make sure you’re eating!!! Get better as fast as possible!!! 

Don’t worry about me, by the way. Taehyunnie and I are going as friends (Soobin and Yeonjun were okay with me borrowing him)

I’ll see you on Sunday, I promise!! ♡♡♡ 

Love, Huening Kai’

Beomgyu put the note aside, now feeling a little better from his boyfriend’s promise, and started working on his math. 

The next day passed excruciatingly slow. He was terribly bored. He cycled through watching TV, sleeping, and slowly getting through his homework. Throughout the whole day, Beomgyu couldn’t help but to imagine what he could have been doing. He and Kai had this whole day planned out. They were supposed to wake up early and get breakfast together. They were supposed to be together for the whole day, until the hours before prom. Beomgyu was supposed to get ready at home and wait for Kai to come by in Yeonjun’s car. Beomgyu, Kai, Yeonjun, Soobin, and Taehyun were all supposed to eat out together, but only Beomgyu and Kai would be at the dance. Yeonjun and Soobin had graduated two years before them, making them too old to come back as Taehyun’s dates. Taehyun didn’t mind; he thought it was overrated, anyway. Funny how he ended up going with Kai in the end. 

To some extent, Beomgyu also thought prom was overrated, but with his condition, he felt like he had no other choice but to enjoy every opportunity handed to him, especially when it came to possible outings with Kai. Alongside that, Kai believed that it would be a good experience for them. Maybe Kai was just compensating for their limited time together, Beomgyu thought. At that point, Beomgyu accepted that he was going to be ill for the rest of his life, however long that would be, but that didn’t stop him from being upset about it. Sure, it had become a normal part of his life, but the fact it put a limit on his life left him feeling hopeless. If there was one thing he could wish for, it would be to be able to live a long life with Kai. 

Many people say that high school couples never last, but the two were sure that they would. Sure they were both inexperienced with love, having only had little crushes on others before meeting, but they both felt a spark with each other. If he believed in soulmates, Beomgyu would have believed that Kai is his. 

The day after prom, Beomgyu laid awake early in the morning, mindlessly watching whatever drama was airing at the time. There was a knock at the door. He turned his head to see his nurse with his usual tray of a bowl of oatmeal, yogurt, and fruit along with his morning medications.

“I see you’re up early,” his nurse smiled. He wheeled in a little cart. “There’s a surprise here for you, Beomgyu.”

With hopeful eyes, the boy shifted his gaze to his room door. There he saw his boyfriend, Kai, with a paper bag, backpack, and toy flower. 

“Good morning, sunshine,” Kai greeted.

“You’re the real sunshine here.” That was the first time in a while that Beomgyu genuinely smiled. It was amazing how happy Kai made him. He held his arms out, careful with his left arm, which had the IV. Kai put his things on the table beside Beomgyu’s bed before wrapping his boyfriend in a warm, comforting, but not too tight hug. “I missed you a lot,” Beomgyu pouted. 

“I told you I was gonna come,” Kai chuckled, breaking away from the hug. 

“Yeah, but that didn’t stop me from missing you.” Beomgyu reached out to take the flower, smiling at it’s yellow face. Beomgyu wrapped it’s bendable green stem around the frame of his bed. 

“I’ll let you two have your privacy,” his nurse interrupted. He then pointed at Kai. “Make sure he takes his meds. I’m trusting you.”

“He will,” the younger boy laughed. He waited for the nurse to leave the room before continuing. “I brought you a donut, by the way.”

“My prince with a donut shop bag,” Beomgyu fake-swooned. “But really, thank you, Ning.”

“Anything for you, hyung.” Kai dragged the beige lounge chair next to the right side of Beomgyu’s bed. Kai has spent a lot of time in that chair. The first time Beomgyu had to be admitted during their relationship, Kai ended up staying there well into the night. He left when his older sister came to pick him up. Kai didn’t want to leave and Beomgyu didn’t want him to either. Beomgyu was half asleep at that time, but he was awake enough to cling onto Kai’s forearm and cry. “How are you feeling?” Kai asked.

Beomgyu opened the yogurt container and picked up the plastic spoon. “Like ass,” he said, scooping a large amount of yogurt into his mouth. 

“Emotionally or physically?”

“Yes.”

“No, seriously,” Kai rolled his eyes.

“How do you think I’m doing?” Beomgyu frowned. “Sorry,” he added quickly, realizing how mean he sounded. “I’m just really upset… It’s funny how this was the one thing I really wanted to do with you, but I couldn’t because of my stupid illness.”

“I know, I know,” Kai comforted, rubbing his hand on the other’s arm. “It’s okay though… We can do something once you’re better…”

“What if I don’t get better? And I’m stuck here forever? I’m basically dead at this rate.”

“Don’t say that.” 

“Doctors tell my mom I’m not getting any better. They think I’m asleep, but I hear them. Face, it Kai, I’m not gonna be around much longer.”

Kai’s comforting rubs stopped, his hand tensing up Beomgyu’s arm. “You’ll get better… I’ll wait as long as I need to.”

“And then what?” Beomgyu said bitterly. “I’ll just get sick again and be taken back or stuck at home. You’re really just waiting for me to kick the bucket.”

Kai didn’t respond, he only stared into the older boy’s eyes. Usually warm, kind eyes felt scared, worried. The corners of his lips were tilted downwards. 

“I’m sorry,” the older apologized. 

“It’s okay,” Kai sighed. It took him a few seconds to regain his previously cheery demeanor. “You’ll get better, I know you will. We’ll have our life together, I promise.”

Beomgyu ate his breakfast and the two ate the donuts Kai brought. The younger made sure to remind Beomgyu to take his morning medications. They talked quietly, mostly about how prom went for Kai and Taehyun. Apparently, the two left prom after an hour and a half, deciding to go to an arcade instead. Beomgyu’s brows furrowed at the mental image of Kai having fun on prom night with someone else, but that wasn’t something that could have been helped.

“It was fun, I guess.” Kai wiped his fingers on a napkin and set it aside. “Of course it would have been better with you.”

“At least you had more fun than I did last night.” A part of him was still very bitter.

“I, uh, actually had something I wanted to give you last night,” Kai said sheepishly. He dragged over his backpack and dug around for something, not yet pulling it out. “I meant to give it after prom. We would have been outside the venue waiting for Yeonjun-hyung… But instead here we are.”

Beomgyu only stared at his boyfriend, curiosity and a little nervousness building up inside him.

“I-It was meant to be something cute and special for us, but thinking about it again I think it’s more for me,” Kai continued, stammering just a bit. “I love you, hyung. I’m s-so in love with you, it’s crazy. I want to be with you forever, really. We talk about getting married and whatnot, but I really mean it! Since we can’t yet and I don’t, uhm, know if you will be able to… I bought us these.”

Kai pulls out a small silver box. With shaky hands, he pulls off the lid, exposing two simple silver rings with a heart cut out from the center. Promise rings. “I know, it’s a little lame but--”

“I love it,” Beomgyu started to tear up. “I love you so much.” He watched as the younger carefully took out one. Beomgyu noticed the engraving on the inside that read ‘soulmate’. Kai took Beomgyu’s right hand and slipped it on his fourth finger. Beomgyu did the same to Kai with the other ring. 

“I love you so much,” Beomgyu repeated, staring into his boyfriend’s eyes with teary ones. He reached over and put his arms around Kai’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Kai rested his hand on Beomgyu’s cheek and caressed the soft skin with his thumb before pulling away. They leaned their foreheads against each other. 

“Do you like them?” Kai wiped a stray tear from the other boy’s cheek.

“Of course I do, dummy.” Beomgyu affectionately rubbed their noses together. 

Kai pulled the chair closer to Beomgyu’s bed and leaned on the side railing. The two intertwined their fingers and continued talking, once again imagining the things they could do once they were older. It was cheesy and silly, but neither of them minded. 

“Are we gonna be like those couples that slow dance in the kitchen late at night?” Beomgyu suggested, looking back down at the ring Kai gave him.

“Only if you want to,” Kai giggled. “I’d dance with you every night if you wanted.”

“You’re unbelievable,” Beomgyu playfully swatted Kai’s cheek. 

“I’d do anything for you. You know that. I’d take away your suffering if I could. I’ll take your place, even.” It was true. Kai wanted nothing more than for his boyfriend to be well and happy. 

“Don’t say that… I don’t want you to go through this.” 

“But for you I would in a heartbeat.”

“All I want is for you to stay with me until the end.”

Kai stayed until around lunch time. Yeonjun, Soobin, and Taehyun all wanted to eat out with Kai, and of course he agreed. They said their goodbyes, exchanging a few too many kisses in the process. “Tell the others to swing by, too,” Beomgyu mentioned.

“I’ll make them,” Kai jokingly threatened.

“Perfect. See you. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Beomie,” Kai waved before leaving the room, leaving Beomgyu alone in his hospital room again. He shrunk in his bed. All life was sucked out of the room the moment Kai left.

About a week later, Beomgyu was deemed healthy enough to go back out into the world, but he was advised to rest most of the time. Unfortunate timing, as both of his parents had work-related trips to go on for a weekend. Beomgyu’s older brother was gone for college, leaving only Yeonjun to stay with him. Yeonjun and Beomgyu had been friends since almost-birth. Yeonjun was basically Beomgyu’s second older brother. At some point, Beomgyu’s parents started to trust Yeonjun with taking care of their younger son. He was usually updated on Beomgyu’s medications and who Beomgyu’s doctors were. 

Yeonjun was always ready to take care of Beomgyu. A part of it was Yeonjun’s want for a little sibling. Being an only child, four-year-old Yeonjun often asked his mom if he could have a baby brother, not quite understanding what that would entail. Needless to say, he found more than a friend in Beomgyu, and it was clear the younger reciprocated that feeling of brotherhood. Growing up, whenever Beomgyu was sick or lonely, Yeonjun would be by his side in a manner of minutes. Of course, since Yeonjun graduated, they have been spending less time together. Still, they made arrangements whenever they could, and Yeonjun was still considered one of Beomgyu’s emergency contacts right under his direct family.

Beomgyu was in his bed, curled in on himself, hugging the teddy bear from Kai and fidgeting with his promise ring. It was a boring Friday afternoon. Yeonjun had just come and his parents were gone. “Are you planning on moping the whole time I’m here?” The pink-haired boy asked, sitting on the floor beside Beomgyu’s bed. 

“I’m allowed to be sad,” he grumbled. The bitter feeling from missing prom never really went away, despite it being a week later. “Imagine if you couldn’t go to your prom because you were locked up in a hospital.”

“I didn’t go to prom, Soobin and I watched movies at my place.” He chuckled at the memory. 

“See, you don’t even understand!” Beomgyu rolled over to face the older boy. He furrowed his brows and pouted. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Yeonjun rolled his eyes and stood up. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. Beomgyu watched as Yeonjun’s lips trembled, clearly he was trying to stop himself from smiling. After years of being friends, Beomgyu saw through him. He assumed one of Yeonjun’s boyfriends texted him. That’s usually what it was. “I’ll order us some food and we’ll watch a movie.”

“I don’t want to watch a shitty romcom.” Beomgyu sat up and crossed his arms. 

“That’s too bad.”

“Can’t the others come over?” 

“They’re busy,” Yeonjun said quickly. 

Beomgyu raised an eyebrow. “Even Kai?” He picked up his phone and texted his boyfriend a quick ‘whatcha up to?’ After not long at all, Kai replied with ‘working on a project :P i’ll text you later!! >3<’. He frowned at his phone screen before putting it down. 

“I can’t believe I’m stuck with you,” Beomgyu groaned, falling back on his bed. 

“You’ve been stuck with me for sixteen years, Gyu, and you’re only complaining now?”

“Yes.”

The night progressed just as Yeonjun had planned. They ate pizza and watched some new romantic comedy. Beomgyu lost count of the amount of times he rolled his eyes at the couple on screen. Normally, Yeonjun would be extremely absorbed in the story, really feeling every emotion of the protagonists, but tonight Beomgyu noticed how his friend kept checking his phone. Yeonjun would lower the brightness and turn his screen slightly out of Beomgyu’s view. It was suspicious, but Beomgyu did not have it in him to question him.

They fell asleep on the couch, or at least Beomgyu did. He was laying against the older, his face pressed against Yeonjun’s shoulder. Yeonjun was still texting someone as the movie ended. He let the credits play as he scooped up the frail boy and brought him upstairs to his bedroom. Yeonjun couldn’t help but notice how light Beomgyu had gotten. He tucked Beomgyu in his bed and turned off the lights before heading to the guest room. He sent one last text before deciding to call it a night. 

‘don’t worry about food. just come at around 5:30 ?? with all the decorations and stuff goodnight binnie!”

The next day Beomgyu was woken up by aching pains all over his body. He tried to sit up, to get up so he could call Yeonjun, but he was hit with a wave of dizziness. He cursed under his breath and laid back down. His vision was slightly blurred. His breathing sped up. Beomgyu shut his eyes for a moment and tried to even his breathing. He opened his eyes again, and reached out for his phone on his side table. Before he could unlock it, the device slipped from his hand and collided with the carpet. His phone made a loud thud, but he could barely hear it. Beomgyu closed his eyes again and gave into the invisible weight on his body, lying limp on his bed. 

The boy vaguely heard footsteps and muffled speaking. He felt someone move his upper body back into the center of the bed. When did he move so far? Doesn’t matter. All he knows now is his head was resting on a stack of two fluffy pillows and the dizziness was going away. He felt Yeonjun’s cold hand rubbing his arm slowly. His hyung’s cold hand felt nice against his almost burning skin. After a few silent moments, Beomgyu opened his eyes again, relieved that the room had stopped spinning. 

“You okay, buddy?” Yeonjun asked softly. Beomgyu only nodded in response. The younger looked so tired. Yeonjun briefly thinks back to the many times over the years when Beomgyu looked so frail in his hospital bed. Though he didn’t look as bad as some of the worst times, it was enough to worry him. “Do you need me to take you to the bathroom?”

“I’m fine,” Beomgyu spoke weakly. “It’s gone now. Can I have my pills, hyung?”

Yeonjun sighed in relief, smiling a bit. “Yeah, I brought them once I heard the thud.” The older grabbed a yellow pill container with ‘bbomgyu-hyung’s morning meds’ written on the side of it in Kai’s handwriting. One day, during the beginning of their senior year, Kai had offered to sort his boyfriend’s pills. Beomgyu kept his system of organization since then. 

The older boy handed Beomgyu the glass of water with a straw he had brought and opened the pill bottle for him. He watched as the younger easily swallowed two different pills. He couldn’t help but worry about how Beomgyu would feel for the rest of the day. He shook away that thought, however, not wanting to make himself anxious.

The day was generally uneventful. Beomgyu spent most of it catching up on homework or sleeping. The end of the year was approaching quickly, and Beomgyu still had quite the stack of work to do. They stopped for lunch. Yeonjun had chicken delivered to Beomgyu’s house. Before they knew it, it was nearing 5pm. The pair were in Beomgyu's bedroom. Yeonjun was texting while Beomgyu worked quietly. Beomgyu couldn't ignore the older shaking his legs. Suddenly, Yeonjun spoke.

“Hey Gyu,” he put down his phone. “I have an idea. It’ll probably cheer you up for a bit.”

“Is it you’ll do my calculus homework?”

“Oh, absolutely not. I was thinking you could get into your prom fit and we could have a mini photoshoot.”

Beomgyu stared at the older and put down his pencil. Yeonjun’s hopeful smile fell when he realized that the other did not look happy at all. “Why on earth would that make me feel better?"

“I was thinking it would get you out of your pajamas for once?”

The younger looked down at his plaid pants and oversized yellow hoodie. Kai’s yellow hoodie. “I think I’m fine.” 

Yeonjun pouted. “C’mon! It’ll be fun!”

“I prefer taking the pictures over being in them, hyung. Plus, being in my prom suit would just make me sad…” Beomgyu huffed and picked up his pencil again. Yeonjun was about to respond, but his phone rang.

“Sorry, I’ll be back.” He stood up and left the room. Beomgyu heard Yeonjun’s footsteps go down the stairs. He chose not to question it. What caught his attention was overhearing Yeonjun say “he’s not cooperating”. He snuck to his door, trying to remain in earshot of Yeonjun. “I’ll help you real’ quick then get back to him.”

Beomgyu heard the front door open then shut quickly. He heard the rustling of plastic bags.

“Knowing him, he’ll be curious, so stay quiet.”

“You got it, hyung!” Kai’s voice. Beomgyu’s eyes widened. 

“I’m gonna head back up. You guys better be quiet.”

“Yes, sir.” Taehyun.

“See you in a few.” Soobin.

Beomgyu swiftly made his way back into his bedroom, sitting at his desk and facing his homework as if nothing happened, blinking away slight dizziness. He repeated the little phrases he heard and tried to relate them to Yeonjun’s request to dress up and take photos. Yeonjun came back into the room, closing the door behind him. 

“So, did you change your mind?” Yeonjun asked, leaning on the door.

Beomgyu thought for a moment, trying to act natural. “Sure.”

“Really?” Yeonjun grinned, eyes glittering with excitement. 

“Yes, really.”

“Then c’mon, get dressed!” Yeonjun pulled the younger out of his seat, giggling. Beomgyu loved seeing his hyung happy. He briefly thought back to the times when Yeonjun would be visibly upset and worried for Beomgyu. Knitted brows, bitten lips, and teary eyes. Beomgyu hated when Yeonjun looked like that. He would prefer if his older brother could be happy all the time. 

Beomgyu retrieved his prepared suit from the back of his closet then excused himself to go to the bathroom down the hallway. He heard more rustling and whispering from downstairs, making him more and more curious as to what the others could be doing. The reason why Yeonjun seemed so antsy. 

When Beomgyu walked back into his bedroom, Yeonjun’s face lit up. He twirled slightly, showing off the long, asymmetrical tail of his coat. Beomgyu tried to ignore how the articles of clothing felt a little looser compared to the first time he tried them on, and instead focused on how nice he looked, even if his slacks were a little baggy. The outfit was almost complete, but he didn’t put the shoes on. They were downstairs, but in all honesty he didn’t want to put them on. 

“You look great, Gyu!” 

“Of course I do,” Beomgyu snickered, receiving a light, playful slap on his forearm. 

“Can I borrow your camera to take the pictures?” Yeonjun asked.

“Did you not bring your own?” 

“Maybe I forgot,” the older rubbed the back of his neck. Beomgyu took his polaroid camera off of his shelf and gave it to Yeonjun. “Alright, let’s go!” Yeonjun beamed, opening Beomgyu’s room door. He motioned to the stairs, telling Beomgyu to go down first. The younger heard shushing and muttering as he stepped down the stairs. Soft music starts, and he sees that the lights downstairs are off, besides the soft glow of… fairy lights? 

Beomgyu’s heart skipped a beat when he saw Kai standing at the bottom of the stairs, dressed in the tux he bought for prom, smiling widely. The yellow-orange glow of the new fairy lights around the livingroom made Kai look a hundred times more beautiful, eyes holding all of the stars in the sky.

“Hello, gorgeous,” Kai spreads his arms out, awaiting his boyfriend’s reaction. It takes Beomgyu a second before he’s smiling from ear to ear and throwing himself into Kai’s comforting arms, wrapping his arms over the younger’s broad shoulders. “Were you surprised?” he whispers, rubbing Beomgyu’s back. They hear Yeonjun snap a few pictures behind Beomgyu. 

“You’re unbelievable,” Beomgyu whispers back, holding his boyfriend tighter. Their lips meet for a moment, just a quick soft kiss. “How long did you plan this for?” he asks, looking around to see Soobin and Taehyun leaning against the wall. Soobin had a permanent smile, while Taehyun held up what Beomgyu recognized to be Kai’s phone. The two looked proud and themselves. Beomgyu mentally told himself to thank them later. 

“I had the idea a few days after prom.” Kai plants a few more kisses on Beomgyu’s soft lips, unable to help himself. He brings a hand up to cup his boyfriend’s face. “It isn’t a fancy venue with lights and a big dancefloor but…”

“But this is better,” Beomgyu finished. “I love you so much.” Beomgyu closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on Kai’s. 

“I love you too, Beomie,” Kai softly bumped their noses together. “So,” he broke away from their embrace and held out his left hand. “May I have this dance?”

“Of course,” Beomgyu smiled, taking his boyfriend’s hand. A new song started, slow and mellow, as Kai led Beomgyu to the middle of the living room. The fairy lights made the space feel almost dreamy. Beomgyu felt Kai’s hands fall to his hips, so he brought his hands to the taller’s shoulders. He laughed when Kai pulled him in closer. The couple couldn’t stop giggling through their first dance together, clumsily mistepping. 

“You’re ruining the moment, dummy,” Beomgyu joked. “This is so cheesy… slow dancing in the living room.”

“You love it.”

“You’re right.”

Yeonjun took formal pictures of the couple. Beomgyu slipped into his shoes just for a few shots. Beomgyu and Kai stood against a quick backdrop that Soobin put up. A simple gold streamer fringe surrounded by the same fairy lights that were put up around his living room. Not much time was spent dancing. Yeonjun cooked pasta for the five of them, and they ate quickly before deciding to clean up and just hang out for the rest of the night. Soobin groaned at that statement, playfully asking what was the point of setting it up if they weren’t even going to spend two hours in their private prom. Taehyun laughed, commenting on how this proves just how overrated the event is.

Beomgyu and Kai were not bothered, though. To them, the night was already special enough. They changed out of their suits and into cozy pajamas. Kai had brought an overnight bag with him, intending to spend the night with his boyfriend. After taking down all of the decorations, Soobin and Taehyun said goodbye to the eldest and left. Much later, Yeonjun was already asleep in the guest room. Kai was in Beomgyu’s bed, cuddling his smaller boyfriend. Beomgyu’s back was pressed against Kai’s chest. He felt safe and secure in Kai’s arms. He was warm. Happy.

Kai lifted his head. “Are you sleepy, hyung?” 

Beomgyu only hummed in response. His eyes were already closed, showing off his long, pretty eyelashes. Kai took in his delicate features, frowning a bit at Beomgyu’s slightly hollowed cheeks.

“Goodnight, Beomie.” Kai pressed a kiss to Beomgyu’s cheekbone before laying back down. 

“Goodnight, Ning.”

Then silence. 

Silence scared Kai. It scared Kai since the first time he saw Beomgyu’s health decline. 

They had only been dating for about two weeks when it happened. For the past few days, Beomgyu seemed weak and tired. He was pale, with dark bags under his eyes. Beomgyu passed out in the middle of the school hallway and an ambulance was called. Kai was worried sick the rest of the school day. Yeonjun had texted Kai the hospital where Beomgyu was taken to and Kai begged his sister to take him there after school.

In a hospital bed that made him look tiny and with machines hooked up to him, Beomgyu was lying still. Silent. The bubbly, loud, goofy boy that Kai loved was eerily silent. Kai was relieved that the heart monitor and the sound of Beomgyu’s breathing filled up the space as much as they could. 

Beomgyu woke up hours later and Kai was still there. Kai stayed there until he was forced to leave. He still remembers how Beomgyu cried and clutched his wrist, almost begging the younger to stay. Kai wished he could have been there for the night. 

_“Don’t go… please, please don’t go…”_

_“I’ll be back. I’ll stay with you until the end.”_

Kai hated the silence every time he went to visit Beomgyu while he was sleeping. Sure, it wasn’t complete silence, the older was always still breathing, but Kai was terrified that it would stop. There were some visits when Kai would just sit by Beomgyu’s bed and lean his head gently on the smaller boy’s chest, desperate to hear his heart beating. He just needed confirmation that the silence wasn’t real.

Bringing himself back to reality, Kai tightened his hold on his boyfriend, wanting him to be as close as possible. Kai carefully shifted himself low enough to bury his face in the older’s neck, pressing his nose and lips into Beomgyu’s cold skin. Kai noted how Beomgyu felt smaller than he remembered. Kai felt Beomgyu’s ribs poking through his pajama shirt. There was no doubt that they were poking through his pale skin. He saw how thin and fragile the boy looked. The change was so sudden, but so slow at the same time. Kai saw him almost daily, so the changes happened over time, but compared to only a week ago it was such a dramatic change. 

As much as Kai wanted to be optimistic, Beomgyu’s sunshine, the light of his life, the future wasn’t looking so bright. 

Two months later, Taehyun and Kai were graduating. Beomgyu couldn’t make it to the ceremony and he wasn’t going to be there for any celebrations afterwards. Kai’s suspicion from that night was right. His boyfriend’s health was rapidly declining. 

Kai was able to force a smile throughout the entire ceremony, taking pictures with his teachers, classmates, and family. The moment it was all over, his family drove him to the hospital to see Beomgyu. 

The boy stopped at the doorway, looking into the room. It was dimly lit, with only the sunlight peeking through the curtain. The light hit Beomgyu so beautifully, it was almost inappropriate for the situation he was in. Just like that first time in their second year of high school, Beomgyu seemed so small, so weak. His eyes were shut, his chest rising and falling slowly. The room was near silent. Kai stepped in slowly, situating himself in the familiar beige chair. His eyes scanned every inch of Beomgyu’s delicate body. Kai’s eyes lingered on the promise ring still on Beomgyu’s hand. He reached out and lightly grasped the sleeping boy’s hand, intertwining their fingers. Beomgyu’s hand was cold. 

“We’ll have our future together,” Kai whispered, wanting to fill the room with something, anything at this point. “We can go to university, be roommates… I’m sure we could get an apartment or something… We can be like one of those cheesy couples, slow dancing in the kitchen, in the living room, anywhere we want anytime we want…” Kai’s hand twitched, tightening his hold for just a second. He felt tears building up. “I’ll stay with you until the end… I only wish that you could stay with me, too.” His voice shook. Kai can’t remember the last time he was this overwhelmed by emotions.

“I love you, Beomie.”

Silence. 

‘My love, my sunshine, my soulmate, Huening Kai,

I know you’re probably not feeling that great while reading this. I’m sorry. There’s nothing we can do. Nothing that could have been done.

I just want to say thank you. Thank you for bringing me snacks when I was in the hospital. Thank you for bringing me my homework. Thank you for visiting me and staying as long as you could. Thank you for those nights you stayed until I fell asleep. Thank you for our own personal prom night. Thank you for making our first and only dance just as lovely as we imagined it to be. Thank you for being my light when my life was a long, dark tunnel. 

Thank you for loving me.

I love you so much, Kai Kamal Huening. I love you more than you could ever know.

Please don’t get too hung up on me. Promise me you’ll live your life even without me.

I’m sorry I couldn’t stay with you until the end, but thank you for staying with me until my end.

Choi Beomgyu

p.s. I may not be with you physically, but I will be watching over you… so you better live your life!! I mean it!!

I love you.’

Kai folded the letter he has read over and over again for the past year. He looked over at his nightstand, where the bear plushie he gave Beomgyu sat. 

“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

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